UPDATE: I am currently stuck at Narita airport in Tokyo, unsure whether my flight will go tonight or not. It’s all such a mess, I just wanna get home and I’m soooo tired..
Hello my dear readers;
I didn’t intend to take a tiny little break from this blog, but to be totally honest with you all: I extremely underestimated the sadness leaving Japan would bring. I am really not sad to leave Japan, as a country or cultural hotspot, but I am dying inside to leave because of certain people. The insecureness of not knowing when or even if I’ll ever see them again breaks me every hour a little bit. I really didn’t imagine the psychical stress to be so tough. I didn’t really sleep or eat the last two weeks.
I don’t know why it crashes me so hard, I always thought that leaving all my friends and family in Berlin would hurt but the pain isn’t easier just because I stayed only for a year here. I am so thankful that I was given that opportunity to grow and reflect myself. This last week has been one of the worst emotional roller coaster ever in my life and the sadness is much more than I can take for the moment. I am absolutely not prepared to go home and that feeling scares me a lot.
I think I’ll miss you forever
like the stars miss the sun in the morning sky (later’s better than never)
I’ll take the airplane tomorrow in the evening and will arrive on Tuesday morning in Berlin. I guess it could take me a while before going back to blogging since my head feels somewhere where it’s not supposed to be. I hope, everything falls back in place soon and I don’t feel so not belonging anywhere. Because that feeling kills me. I am sorry for such a personal and depressing post but this is really a tough time for me. Thank you all for staying with me and I hope to talk to you all soon again!
See you in Berlin.