Something personal.

September 6, 2011
The last days, my situation at home got worse and worse at worse. I live at home with my mom and her wife (yes, yes!) but I’m not that often at home because I mostly go to work/university and sleep at my boyfriend’s home. The last days I was at home and realized that my mom was superaggressive all the time. No matter what I talked about she suddenly yelled at me. She was always a person who gets furious very easily (due to her zodiac I guess xD) but she also calmes down very fast. But this time, she is just angry all the time. I thought it was because of her menopause (because she got more angry since that period starts) but now it is really unbeareable. I’m afraid she’ll yell at me even if I said „hello“. o.o
But yesterday I realized what was her real intention, and why she is so mad and angry and furious all the time: it is connected with my leavíng for Japan next Thursday. She ís mad because her only kid will be far far away from her because she never experienced that (I’m her only child and we were separated for 2 weeks at maximum the last 22 years, haha.) You guys should know that my mom is more a lion than a mother: she protects her child no matter what. She really really cares for me and does things other mom’s wouldn’t do perhaps. (She even makes a meal for me when I come home from work by midnight! Or she buys the newest beauty stuff just because she knows I’ll wanna have it.)
So thats why I have to say I’m honestly sad about the fact that I am the one making her so mad. I don’t want her to worry that much but I guess there is nothing I could do about. It’s a shame to see her so sad. I know that it’s the hardest thing for her to leave her little baby behind.  I don’t know but I wouldn’t expect to be so hard for her, I don’t know. It makes sense now but my mom is very strong so I didn’t expect her being that mad about the fact. But nevertheless I’m very happy to be loved so much for my family – I really should be graceful. And write many many letters to her when I’m abroad for that year.
♥ (Just needed to tell someone, hoping you all don’t bother..)

Found them last night. Fell in love with this song.
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