Hello my dear readers,
Wish you all a very happy and romantic Valentine’s Day! 😀 Actually, Valentine’s Day is not really a big deal in Germany. Nothing comparable to the UK, US or even Japan. The Germans just aren’t that romantic. I myself never really had a thing for Valentine’s Day because I wanna be loved every day in the year not on Feb 14th! So I will spare you all these „What to do on Valentine’s Day“ posts that have been spamming my feed for a week now.
Instead, let’s have a little talk! I get a lot of questions about my relationship on this blog so I thought, why not make a little Q&A out of this post? I collected the questions that I have been asked the most over the last past couple of weeks. Hope you enjoy! 🙂
Q: How long have you been together with your boyfriend? It seems that he is still your first..?
A: That’s right! My boyfriend and I will hit 8 years straight this year in June. I of course dated other boys before I met him but somehow, it never worked. I tried a lot but it never felt right. I went together to school with my boyfriend and somehow, it just happened. We talked together, we had icecream, we went on a date and somehow everything felt right
from the start and I kinda knew that this might be something bigger than just some guy you dated when you were seventeen. Now we both will turn 25 this summer! 😀
Q: How the hell do you guys be still happy after eight years?? TELL ME.
A: First of all, not every relationship is destined to last forever. This is something that we learn from childhood on: that the perfect love lasts forever. However, people are not perfect and people most certainly do not stay the same during life. So in my opinion, it is totally fine to go separate ways when somehow, you both don’t fit anymore together during the course of time. That’s pretty normal and nothing to be ashamed of! The same counts for friends – not every friendship is and should stay on forever. It’s such a good feeling when it does, but I personally think it is totally okay to walk the road together for some time and then leave when the time has come. Don’t put yourself under that „We-must-be-together-forever“ social pressure!
As for my own relationship; my boyfriend and I are almost like Fire & Water: Complete opposites. We never had that much in common from the start so I think the risk of growing apart from each other is less; because our relationship was never based on mutual hobbies or sth. Somehow it works out though; we balance each other out quite well in my opinion. He has the calmness when I am an aggressive bitch and I am sceaming loud when he is too silent. (And hey, we both like video games and listen to similar music! That’s something, right?)
Secondly: A relationship is hard work. Not in the beginning of course, but latest after two or three years (were most couples break up, btw) when the hormones aren’t flying rock high anymore you need to work on your relationship, to make it interesting. Remain interested in your partner. Don’t take anything for granted. Don’t worry.
Q: Do you not miss anything when you’re together with one person for so long? I would maybe think I would miss something with only ever dating one guy.
Well, well, this is a question I get often, mostly from friends who happen to have more relationships than I can remember. You see, our world (and pop culture in general) tries to tell us all the time that there is that one perfect person for you. That there is always someone better who can make you even more happy. But that’s bullshit. If you happen to have a person by your side that makes you perfectly happy don’t do that mistake and think it could be even better with the next one. Because maybe you will never be that happy again. People should cherish what they have and not always strive for better, higher, faster. I personally feel that my boyfriend gives me everything that I need: He understands some things about me even better than my parents and he knows who I am. Like, really am. We were in bright and dark places together and I don’t think there might be someone better for me – so no, I do not miss anything.
Q: How do you survive to be apart from each other for so long? Are you not worried he might cheat on you..?
The thing with the trust is a tricky one. First of all I have never been a jealous person and neither has he so we had a pretty good basis, always doing stuff alone without wandering what the other might or might not do. If I had to worry about getting cheated that’s not a relationship I wanna be in. I know some people can’t help it but I don’t get jealousy – either you trust someone or you don’t. There’s nothing in between.
As for me going abroad all the time to study: He hates it. Of course he does, I’m leaving him all alone for a year. Sorry honey. But he knows as well as I do that the only time to do these things is now, while I am a student. Once I’m in a regular job I won’t leave for Japan for a year since there will be just regular working routine. He dearly hopes I will find a job soon XD Also, when I left the first time we were still together for more than four years, so our basis was already really strong. I would not recommend going abroad for a year in the first two years of relationship because there is still a lot insecurity! When I think of the beginning time I was from time a lot insecure because I didn’t know my boyfriend as I do now.
Also, communication is important! You cannot just leave for a year and then write some mails somewhen. You need to establish an everyday life routine so that your relationship doesn’t break apart. In my example, my boyfriend and I met everyday around midnight at Skype and told each other about our day; this way, the other one can participate in your life without being really there – and also, giving some security to what the heck you’re doing so far away 😉
Sooo I hope that wasn’t too much lovetalk for all of you today 😀 Will return to usual blog schedule asap. I’m baking a cake atm and if it turns out great it will for sure earn a post here. If not, well then you don’t need to know. (Only thing you need to know is that it is a Chocolate Peanut Butter Cheesecake – how could this go any wrong?? *____* ) I hope you all had a pleasant day! <3
Lots of love,